I realized yesterday that in the last 22 years I’ve moved about 10 times (not counting dorm rooms and going home for summer) and was absolutely shocked by that realization. I don’t feel like a person who’s always moving. Those of you who’ve known me over those years may find this surprising since you’ve had to cross out my address in your little book and find space to put the new ones.
In some of the houses I lived 4 or 5 years, and Boulder was home for 11 years. I felt rooted, more settled, at home… not like a person who can’t settle down or moves for the sake of moving.
In the wee hours of this morning, though, as I pondered the journeys of the coming months, I recalled this photograph. It was taken 18 years ago in my parents’ kitchen. I’d just graduated from college and didn’t know where I was going to live, work, or settle. I had no plan except this map. What seemed logical to me was to drive around the United States until I found my spot and something good to do. People thought I was crazy. Several asked if I was going to put a dummy in the passenger seat or carry mace or even a gun. (I thought they were crazy!)
I think maybe I’m doing the same thing on a global scale now and didn’t realize it. I’ve been researching round-the-world airline tickets. The itineraries look just like the lines I’d drawn across this map, only they span continents and circle the planet. HA!
When I’m not sure what to do next, I go in search of the next big Adventure. It’s kind-of like being in an Inquiry… you never know what will come up. The approach reminds me of this quote… not something I will ever be accused of, I think:
“Listen–are you breathing just a little, and calling it a life?” — Mary Oliver
This is just one part of who I am… and I’d like a more permanent Traveling Companion and a Home to navigate from.
P.S. Don’t you just love the bob and the huge sunglasses with leopard print on them? I loved the touch of leopard print…
Addendum: I keep thinking of this great Elizabeth Gilbert talk and how she says so many womens’ lives today are like scavenger hunts. It’s so true! We get our graduate degrees here and our friends over there and our hobbies and careers in different places… then we look for significant others and try to figure out how to balance homes and children and everything else we’re lugging around from place to place… I know this isn’t just me, ladies. How’s it going for you?
{ 15 comments… read them below or add one }
I’ll start by sharing that ~ no joke ~ I have moved nearly forty times throughout my life. And I’ve had the travel bug in me since I was thirteen years old. I feel incredibly fortunate that I have a fairly good balance these days between family, home, travel, work, friends, etc., and accept the fact that there will always be a longing in me to GO. Not go as in run away, but go as in explore, experience, and see it all.
Oh, Swirly, you rock! I don’t know why, but I equate moving with failure for some reason. As if I’m supposed to be June Cleaver and should be settled down by now (whatever that means) and the fact that I’m not makes me some sort of deviant. You are most certainly not June Cleaver (in a good way) or any kind of deviant I wouldn’t want to be!
My slant on it is the going – I just love to GO! I don’t necessarily want to arrive anymore. Having a home base works for me and having an adventure a month works for me too. I do have friends or at least acquaintances anywhere I land so never feel alone or like there is no back door or safety net. Reading this post I realize that I am always looking on a moment-to-moment basis for the next trip. Love you, Lori
Yes, Lori — you have the best of both worlds in some respects, don’t you? And the grass looks greener some days over here, I know. It’s the curse of the Wander Woman (title of my friend Marcia’s book on high-achieving women).
I remember a conversation I had with a seething pile of talented writers once, and the group was wondering if there is a difference, broadly speaking, between male writers & female writers.
The only thing we really agreed on, was that women are often reinventing themselves & molting into new skin, and men feel like they are fated to something.
I wonder if this is true with travel. That painted in the broadest brush, we travel for different reasons.
Your eloquent writings often touch to the next adventure, the newness of it, the moments of food in a far off cafe. I feel like I am just adding stanzas to an Epic poem where I am static, but the song goes on (written in Iambic octimeter please, with old english language music! No harp, but more Tom Petty guitar)
This is a longer thought, and maybe your life is a scavenger hunt—
I feel like travel-worn Odysseus, but I left Ithaca 22 years ago (in 1989) and will never return there to live. The only commonality is me. My song is not that different, just my face is older.
Very Fast Andrew! Hello, my friend! I adore you. Interesting difference you pointed out. May I add to the older face comment that you have a great hair cut at the moment (I saw in your facebook pics with Ev.). Ciao to the moglie and the bambina!
going “in search of the next big Adventure” seems perfectly logical to me. always when I’m somewhere, I enjoy it, but always feel the urge to go somewhere else. sometimes it drives me mad, but that’s how it is. for the last 10-15 years, anywhere i’ve lived or stayed, I’ve never completely unpacked. Don’t even leave my toothbrush and toothpaste bag in the bathroom.
It’s interesting to me that I identify with some of the same feelings you are sharing here. I am often always looking for “the next big Adventure” even though I DO have a Home and Traveling Companion. In fact, I don’t really feel that my Roots are here (and am not sure if I want my childrens’ Roots to be here). I tend to constantly be on the lookout for Where We Should Be rather than enjoying the Adventure I’m On Now, if that makes sense. I have to remind myself, often, to stay present.
Really, Sarah? I didn’t know that. What’s the short list of Where We Should Be? Not P-town, I think…
How’s the Little Guy? How are YOU? The photos of the two of them are sooo cute!
Thanks for commenting. All these comments show me very clearly it’s not just me.
As someone who has had the same spouse for 48 years, lived in only four different places in 64 years, travel and change keep you questioning, learning, and provides such a broader understanding of people and our world. I have come to understand some people simply do not have that curiosity-they travel so they can say “I have been to Paris, London”, etc. but there is a difference in that kind of traveler and the one who wants to know what is around that next bend. As a 3rd grader a project on the Great Pyramids sent a message to me that there was a lot to learn and a big old world to explore.
After living in Sarasota 37 years I still, raising both you and your brother here, having wonderful friends, great neighbors, and a job that is very rewarding, I have never considered this “home”.
Savor the opportunity and choices you are making and all you are learning about human nature-there will be plenty of time to “settle down”!
Mom! You are so funny! You might as well have written, “Oh, honey… we’ll all settle down when we’re dead.” Your comments here always make me make so much more sense. Ha Ha Ha!
I think maybe we should arrange it so you can come to the Summit. You’d be so proud of me. It’s going to be INCREDIBLE.
Hi Rebecca,
It’s sooo not just you. I spent my youth on a tight and rigid path, a very planned young woman indeed. I went to medical school instead of drama school (obviously head prevailing over heart!). But life has twists and turns and while I have moved a lot ( 7 times in the last 8 years alone, long story) my life has been too settled. As you say, breathing a little, calling it a life. So in just 6 days I am moving again. This time leaving a big time career as a psychiatrist in Canada, going to a small town in France to manage vacation houses. I walked away from my job, my house, my car, my possessions (kept my husband) to find my joy again. Clearly I am in favor of the Big Adventure.
That being said…about an hour ago I was quite panicked. What have I done?? I wanted to run back to my lovely house where someone else now lives. I wanted my car back, to sit on my expensive couch and work on my blog, my new joy since leaving medicine. There was heavy sweating, copious amounts of chocolate were consumed. I wanted to press ‘undo’ on this whole debacle. Then I found your site and I recovered.
Thanks…
Bobbi
Thanks, Bobbi! Maybe I can come rent one of your vacation houses in France! How’d you find that job?
Rebecca, we would welcome you with open arms and buckets of wine and pastries! Finding this job was an unbelievable alignment of sun and moon and stars (along with deciding to walk away from everything I know). If you really want to know the story can be found at http://www.findingmeinfrance.com under a post called “France? Pourquoi?” (2 parts).
Digging the Summit, you are one of my newfound women I want to be when I grow up…
Bobbi XOXO
You are not the only one ! I recognise a fellow traveller.
In the past 34 years I’ve lived in the UK, France, Spain, Netherlands, Belgium, been very, very close to settling in California (twice !), Texas, Florida and now live in two European countries while regularly travelling further afield.
I don’t recognise my travels as a scavenger hunt though. My adventures are a consequence of my eternal curiousity, my love of meeting people/food/places from other cultures, and the joy of living in a world of wonder (or WoW). In whatever time I have available on this planet, I want to experience as much of it as possible. And ultimately knowing that I am always connected to those I love wherever I am, all the reminder I need is to examine my heart.
How lucky I am to be an English woman living right now, free to make any choice to go wherever I want…